Dysthymia no more

What is dysthymia?
(from the NIH web page)
The main symptom of dysthymia is a low, dark, or sad mood on most days for at least 2 years. In children and adolescents, the mood can be irritable instead of depressed and may last for at least 1 year.
In addition, two or more of the following symptoms will be present almost all of the time that the person has dysthymia:

• Feelings of hopelessness
• Too little or too much sleep
• Low energy or fatigue.
• Low self-esteem
• Poor appetite or overeating
• Poor concentration

In my late 20's I was friends with an experienced psychiatrist.  After knowing him for a few years he asked me if I was ever diagnosed with dysthmia.  He claimed that it was a common disorder, particularly for jewish people (he was jewish fwiw)  I was skeptical about the condition being something typical of jews and believe he said this because he saw so many jewish paitents with the condition.

 Regardless,  I defintely had close to 100% of the above symptoms.  I do not get terribly upset when things are going "bad" but I also do not get terribly excited when things are going "good".   There is some value to being like this.  I believe this condition made me an excellent poker player and enabled me to make a living at the game for many years.  When other players were breaking down from the endless stream of bad beats you inevitably run into while playing I was always pretty much level-headed regardless of my results.

The worse part of dysthymia for me was low energy, low self-esteem., and a lifetime of chronic overeating.  About 6 months ago I slowly started eliminating processed foods and factory farmed meats from my diet. Initially I attacked the sweets I was eating every single night.  It was common for me to eat a pint of Ben and Jerrys, a bag of doritos or potato chips, and probably some cookies before I eventually fell asleep.  I made the effort at first to cut back and then totally eliminate these foods outside of my regularly scheduled cheat meals.   This made me feel better but I still had most of the above symptoms.

A few months after getting a handle on my sweets intake I made the effort to slowly eliminate ALL processed foods.  If it came in a box or a bag (cept for the few organic veges I buy that come bagged!) I stopped eating it.   Without even realizing it I was I was mostly cutting back on modern grains.

I am 90% processed food free at the moment.  My energy levels are off the chart and I have not felt depressed at all for the past 6 months.  Many of my old thought patterns such as, "I'm fat" or "I'm worthless" have completely vanished.  My new way of thinking is so foreign to what I am used to that I barely recognize myself!  My self-esteem is probably a little bit out of control, hence all of the pics I have been posting of myself on facebook lol.

 I have actually lost connection with more than a few friends recently.   The people I used to commiserate with are no longer attractive to me.  I did not realize how incredibly sick I was until I got some relief and realized I was surrounding myself by people with the same condition.  When I tell them abstinence from most modern foods is what "cured" me I am greeted by disbelief and anger.  It is similiar to when I tell my drug-addicted friends to go to a 12-step meeting  to get help with their  drinking or drug use.  They just roll their eyes at me and give me some lip service about how good their life is and  how it is all totally manageable.  I said the same thing about processed foods until I got sick of being sick.  I can never go back to my old ways.  If water seeks its own level I am quite happily leaving some old friends in their puddle of mud.